What is this, Horseville? Because I’m surrounded by naysayers.

11Oct09

Holy constricted balls of a man in a one piece!

I know, it’s been a while.I got caught up with exams and work and friends leaving and friends going….and bla…when the thing…with the …you know…had a love child with a Somalian stowaway….

Who the fuck am i kidding, I totally slacked off and let the “apathy monster” eat me alive. Well not particularly in all areas of my life . Mostly just the cyberspace one. I almost feel as if i need to apologise, but when you are the meal of a monster so powerful that even a ten foot black dildo wouldnt scare him off you’re pretty much fucked and succumbing is your only option.

I succumbed HARD. Wow that came out a lot worse than i expected. Yes yes SEXUAL UNDERTONES, people!!!

Anyhow, the purpose of my hard work: If i pass these exams life will be good. Not mediocre good. Like kick-your-friend-in-the-testicles-until -they-resemble-female-genatalia good! Yes kids. THAT good.

So i started this like ‘once a week’ photography course and i’ve been going for the past three weeks. Apart from learning that women are embarrassed of the noises that escape the depths of their stomachs and in turn always find the dire need to try and explain said grumbling ,the course in itself has felt like a total waste of my (sleeping) time.

“I know what aperture is woman, I have the internet and live in a middle class home..and got a manual with this camera.”

Oh god, then this there’s this extreme need for these entry level moms to want to talk about their kids or quest for mother-dom (im not quite sure if that word is even allowed) for at least a half hour every time. A half hour of MY time. Worst part is i got this as a gift and i kinda have to go, so as to look like an appreciative “almost” stepdaughter. (I say “almost” ‘cos my dad has no intention of marrying the female hes with, but for all intents and purposes she is my stepmom.technically speaking).

In other news the Manfriend bought me a Tarantula. ^^ YAY! (EXXTREME FEMALE MOMENT !!#$@$%^^** LOL! OMG! BRB!!!!1111111)

Okay now sexing animals is by far the FUNNIEST process in pet ownership. Like with a dog and most other non exotic animals its pretty obvious. Like “woah that mutt has a HOO-HOO its definitely a bitch” . Petrusions and lack there of definitely make “sexing” /husbandry a lot easier.

I wont lie whilst looking through all the visuals and how-to’s i felt a little awkward. Seriously though ,if spiders could web surf technically speaking this would be like mild almost NOT SAFE FOR WORK Arachna-Porn.